Intercultural Tips
How many times have you heard the phrase "it is the little things that make the difference"?
Even though this statement may be trite, it seems to ring true nearly every day for us--foreigners in China. Many times, it is these small nuances of social etiquette and communication awareness that can determine the difference between failure and success, sometimes even a lot of success.
This Monthly Column will bring tips; design to help you become more skilled and professional while working with the Chinese as Businessmen, Managers and Employers.
The following tips were written by Mrs. Meirav Lipinski Zemer, IsCham Beijing Senior Strategy Adviser ( This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it ).
1. Have you been invited to a Chinese Wedding?
2. Why is that Chinese never say No?
3. Finding the right people to work with in China
4. Confucianism - why does it affect my business?
5. Business Banquets – It's all about developing business relationship
6. The Devil Is In The Details V. The Big Picture
7. Business Negotiations in China
8. Chinese Negotiating Tactics
1. Have you been invited to a Chinese wedding?
We all know that a wedding is a special event among all cultures and can be one of the most important and memorable events of our lives. Well, Chinese weddings are no different. Knowing more about them can make the experience much more meaningful—not to mention the positive externalities associated with snafu-avoidance.
Essential tips for Chinese wedding etiquette:
What kind of guest are you?
There is a big difference between being a friend, work colleagues or "The Boss".
- As “The Boss", you may just be the most important guest in the wedding.
- You should be aware of your importance and act according to expectations!
Time of the wedding
In China weddings take place during the morning. Most of the guests will arrive on time.
- Don't be the first guest to arrive but make sure not to be more than 10 minutes late.
The Gift
Most of the guests would bring money--sometimes a lot of money. The best form is cash (no gift-cards) and should always be in a red envelope.
- Bring your money in a red envelope (called "Hong Bao", 红包“).
- If you are the boss you are expected to bring a generous amount of money. You might also consider mentioning your gift during your speech. A generous amount will give your Chinese employee a lot of “face” in front of his friends and family.
The Amount
In China never give a gift with amounts that contains the digits 4, 7 or 250.
- It is better to give an amount that contains the numbers 8, 6 or 9
Handing the Red Envelope
On the entrance all guest will sign their names in a big red book, this book is a souvenir for the bride and groom.
- Hand out the envelope when you enter the venue only if there is someone sitting and collecting the envelopes. Otherwise, don't hand it in yet!
- Later, while having lunch, the new couple will be walking around the tables. They will stop at your table to say thank you and to drink with you. It is at this time that you should give them your gift.
- When giving the Hong Bao, think of the classic, Chinese business card exchange: hold the envelope with both of your hands while passing it over to the bride and groom.
The Ceremony
There are different customs during the ceremony, most of them contain a greeting and exchange of vows, ring giving, wine drinking, cutting and tasting of the cake and handing a gift to the parents. The ceremony will end with a symbolic tea serving to the parents.
The speech
Once the ceremony is over, guests will be called to give a speech.
- If you are The Boss, be ready with a speech, it can be a short greeting in Chinese, but can be in English if there is someone that is able to translate. Any way try to finish your speech with a nice sentence in Chinese. Try a simple, “gong xi ni”(恭喜你). It means, “Congratulations.”
- If you are bringing a gift on behalf of the company this is a good timing for mentioning it and handing it. Doing so would give the company and lucky employee a lot of face. It should be a generous amount and in addition to your own gift, no need to announce the amount.
- Don't mention anything about kids during the speech.
- It is better to say a few words about the value of marriage rather than talking specifically about the bride and groom.
Lots of Bai jiu – Ganbei!
After the ceremony and speeches guest will be sited around the tables. A big variety of dishes will be served; on the table will be alcohol and cigarettes. Guests around you will be smoking one cigarette after another.
- You will probably be told where to sit so it is better to wait until being seated. Same as during meetings…
- If you are The Boss your table will be waiting for you to sit before anyone else is seated. You might be asked to sit at the main table with the new couple’s parents.
- Be ready for a lot of Ganbei – If you don't want to drink this is the time to come up with an excuse (try some variant on a medical excuse), otherwise you will have to drink and drink…
- “Ganbei” literally means “dry glass”. So when you hear the magic words, bottoms up. Most likely each person at the table will want to drink with you so be ready.
- Even if you are not a smoker you will still have to suffer the smoke around you.
When can you leave?
Don't expect any dancing. Lunch will be accompanied by a performance or different games. The bride and groom will be walking around the tables drinking and talking with the guests.
- You can only leave after the new couple has visited your table, you have congratulated them, drunk with them and handed them your red envelope.
- If you are The Boss, no one at your table--or sometimes even the entire wedding—will leave before you.
2. Why is it that Chinese never say No?
We have been asked many times why is it that Chinese never say "NO"? Well, actually Chinese say "NO" but they do so in their own way.
Chinese believe that saying "no" to someone is a sign of weakness and will make the other person lose face, and as we know, protecting your own and other peoples' mianzi (face) is one of the most important things in China, it's your face, status, reputation, dignity and prestige.
In Chinese speech the word "no" is not only restrained but avoided at all costs. The Chinese consider it rude to say no to someone even if that is the only answer possible.
- Cultural norms
The Chinese don't like to disappoint someone or seem ungenerous or unhelpful;
therefore, for example when asking for directions Chinese would give you false directions rather than appear unhelpful.
- In Business
Likewise in business, the Chinese will not usually come out and say "no" to a proposal directly. Instead they will give a vogue respond such as "perhaps", "I'm not sure", "I'll think about it", "that sound very interesting ", or "we shall discuss this among ourselves later". All these phrases usually are the Chinese way to say a simple "NO".
- How do I say no?
In dealing with Chinese always leave yourself a way out and forward, using such Chinese tactics:
• Saying "let me think about it and get back to you", or "have you thought of such and such as an alternative?"
• Sucking in air through clenched teeth, to give the other person time to think again.
• Telling an object or a white lie.
- Always remember,
When the Chinese are communicating with you they would only let you know one third of what is on their mind, avoid from being direct and never speak too much, use your senses and develop body language skills, it would help you understand the underlying meaning in many meetings.
3. Finding the right people to work with in China
Finding the right people is an important aspect of making business in China. There are key differences between the way Chinese and western business people form and maintain their relationship. Chinese usually will only feel comfortable in doing business when they are operating within their own circles or as it is called in China – “Guanxi”.
The Chinese ‘Business circle’ consists of friends, colleagues, business associates, school alumni associations and industry clubs.
Chinese prefer to spend most of their time and energy within their ‘circle of influence’. If you wish to form genuine long-term relationships with Chinese people, it is critical to enter their circle.
Many successful Chinese entrepreneurs will not do business with anyone they regard as strangers, no matter how good a deal is presented to them.
How Do I Do It?
- Use intermediary
Before coming to China you need to find a Chinese who can represent you and act as an intermediary to arrange your schedules and meetings with the correct people. The intermediary should also be able to accompany you to your meetings and act as an interpreter.
Being bilingual in not enough, choose your intermediary carefully, and make sure he understands your business and goals in China and that he is on your side.
- Face-to-face communication
The Chinese prefer face-to-face meetings to any other form of communication. Try visiting China as often as possible and stay there for as long as possible; Chinese are looking for a commitment to china.
- Establish your own circles of influence and Guanxi
- Find like-minded people
If your goal is to build a long-term, reputable and professional business, it is critical to find like-minded people.
Find people who have the same objectives as yours and share your vision and passion.
Be aware of counterparts that have hidden agenda or do not have a long-term view.
- Choose your people according to their age group, educational background and work experience
Mid-30s to mid-50s with overseas education or work experience are the best connections to china. They usually enjoy extensive networks with people who have similar backgrounds in their sector and they are more familiar with western culture, protocols and codes.
We often find that Western companies tend to think that Hong Kong and Taiwan Chinese are ‘Chinese’ enough to work in the mainland. The reality is that most of mainlanders think that they are ‘outsiders’ too.
- Check backgrounds and references
Ask for recommendation and comments from people in your industry and your community.
Observe, conduct background checks and due diligence and ask others who may provide information to help you to make a sound judgment about who you are working with.
Prepare to walk away if you are concerned!
- Business is personal
A final point to keep in mind that in China business is personal; the connections you established are between individuals, not companies.
Replacing long time managers means sometimes that all the relationship that was build goes with them. The replacement will have to start the whole process from scratch.
4. Confucianism - why does it affect my business?
China has a depth of culture and history stretching back more than 5,000 years. Through this long history with its many changes, legacies were created and philosophies developed, forming part of China's living principles. I would even say that the role these Philosophies play in Chinese civilization in many ways is similar to religion in many other civilizations.
Confucius (born 551 BC), was not a religious figure, he was a moralist and social engineer who emphasized the importance of social and moral order as well as hierarchy.
He viewed society as pyramid shaped. The chain of command started with the emperor at the apex, then in the middle layers the officials and administrators and finally the families at the bottom. He believed that as long as everyone behaves in accordance with his or her social position, government and society would be harmonious and everybody would be prosperous and happy.
Confucius social order consists of five basic relationships people shared: relationship between the ruler and subject, father and son, husband and wife, elder brothers and younger brothers and between friends. In this Confucian System a person should obey authority and respect the elders, everyone has its place in the hierarchy and tends to be sensitive to his or her position as above, below, or equal to others.
Hundreds of years later, China of today still follows the style of Confucius and as foreigners it is very important for us to realize it and understand how it might affect my life as a boss, a colleague or an employee.
- Confucius in Business
Confucius teaching promotes that 'a minister should be loyal to his emperor, and son should respect his father’; such hierarchal order is even more obvious in the business world. The subordinates are 'ministers' and are not meant to argue, ask questions or disobey orders. Loyalty is encouraged in the business community, and often subordinates spend more energy making sure that they are always 'seen to be loyal' rather than focusing on the commercial operations.
Usually small and medium companies are run as if they are “families”, following Confucius legacy in which Chinese children learn to respect and obey their parents. In small to medium companies the leader strive to duplicate the atmosphere of a 'family' at the workplace, and treat the employees like children, such attitude determines that the leader usually makes decisions, no questions can or should be asked.
A person's place within the hierarchy is very important - everyone has their position within an organization and abides by orders diligently, they will generally act on specific instructions but are nervous to do anything more, they will always ask for direction from authority, and probably blame someone else when they make mistakes, for example, If the most senior ranking person is present in a meeting, no one will volunteer or contribute their opinions unless asked.
- Basic tips for managing 'typical' Chinese employees
In general, Chinese workers are hardworking, great team members and can deliver a good job if the instructions are clear.
- For new employees - make sure there is a clearly defined office manual
- Define who is responsible for each task
- Present information in visual form
- Repeat yourself when presenting a new concept, direction or process. Use different sentences phrasing to repeat the same instructions.
- Encourage the employees to ask questions by explaining that you understand the cultural differences, but since you are a westerner, it would be acceptable and would not offend you in any way.
- Provide a performance guide for each job
- Whenever possible, present a well mapped-out project plan with detailing actions
- Old habits die hard
China has changed dramatically through the years but as we all know 'old habits die hard', most of today's managers and employees are still significantly influenced by the Confucius legacy.
The best approach is to remain open and flexible in your attitude, and to respect and learn some Chinese wisdom along the way.
5. Business Banquets – It's all about developing business relationship
When establishing, renewing or continuing a business relationship in China, be prepared to socialize - Chinese insist on getting to know potential partners and suppliers before doing business together. They establish these necessary relationships through business entertaining. This is one crucial step in the development of a business relationship. The time, money and energy spent should forge a lifelong relationship.
One of the most important things for Chinese is food. In the business context, dining together is not about eating at all, since the Chinese prefer to establish social connections with the people they do business with, hosting a banquet for guests is the best way to establish an ‘informal relationship’ and to show their hospitality and respect to their guests.
When and Where
Chinese business dinners start very early, usually around 6:30pm and last around 2 hours.
Banquets are usually held at restaurants that cater to dinner banquets, usually at a large round table inside a private dining room.
Seating arrangements
Wait for the host to seat you. According to tradition, the seat in the middle of the table facing the door is reserved for the guest of honor who sits on the right hand side of the host; the next most senior-ranking sits on the left hand side of the host. If there is no guest of honor the most senior member sits in the center seat. If the host has any doubts about the correct order of precedence for his guests, he will seat them based on age. Remember: don’t sit! Wait to be seated!
Eating and Drinking
If you are not hosting a meal, don’t start until the host suggests to start usually by placing food on the guest's plate.
The host usually proposes the first toast, after an appropriate time guests should proposes toast in return. A toast to friendship among companies will help cement a business relationship.
"Ganbei" means "bottoms up" toast others at the table and drain your glass. It is customary to “Ganbei” with small glasses full with the local Baijiu, the Chinese liquor, and your host might also suggest red-wine and beer.
The dinner will include around 15 different courses, some expensive dishes must be ordered (shark fin, abulón, bird-nest etc.) to show the host’s respect for his guests, therefore don’t make mistake by eating too much from the first several courses, make an effort to try a small portion of each dish. During the meal complimenting the host on the quality and taste of food you are eating is welcomed and an expected topic of conversation.
Rice usually is served near the end of the meal; if you want to eat rice with your meal it is perfectly acceptable to ask the server to bring the rice earlier.
The Chinese will understand and respect if you are not able to eat specific kind of food, it is always better to announce it to your host in the beginning of the meal than having to refuse specific courses which may appear rude.
As the guest of honor you can expect to be served with the best portion of the dish served, for example, you will be served with the fish head whether you like it or not.
Dinner Conversation
Business is not discussed directly at meals, but dinner conversation may provide a chance to probe the other side's position indirectly and without commitment, when the host stops discussing business and changes topics do not mention the negotiation or business again.
Avoid from raising questions about anyone’s private life- for example, their wife or children- unless they volunteer or ask you first.
When does it End?
The meal has reached a definite conclusion when fruit is served. Then, wait until the host announces the end of a meal- it is regarded as rude for a guest to bring a banquet to an end. Leave shortly after the meal is finished, since no one will probably leave before the guest of honor.
Who pays?
The host pays for the meal. You should at least offer to pay, then accept the hospitality and thank the host profusely. It is always acceptable to try to pay, doing so in a sincere way and not aggressively will give your host mianzi (Face, in Chinese), however to argue and insist will make the host lose mianzi. It is a delicate balancing act that Chinese have perfected into art.
After the host pays for dinned you should thank him for his generosity and offer to pay next time.
Remember!
Banquets are not about eating at all it's all about developing business relationship.
So, whenever you are invited to a Chinese banquet, make a point of accepting the invitation.
Bon Appétit!
6. The Devil Is In The Details V. The Big Picture
One of the great sources of national pride for Chinese is the unique Chinese writing.
The Chinese written language uses stylized pictographs to create words and combination of pictures together to create more complex words. This allows all 200-plus different dialects-speaking people to be able to read the same language whiles having a unique pronunciation for each dialect.
The Chinese written language contains more than 47,0000 characters, Chinese schoolchildren are required to memorize thousands of characters, and this can take many years of study. An average Chinese will know how to read and write between 1,500-3,000 characters. A person with higher education will know between 5,000-10,000 characters.
It is estimated that one needs to know about 3,000 characters to be able to read a newspaper.
The Big Picture Approach
To be able to read a Chinese character requires you to see the whole picture together, not just the component. This has led to a mentality that sees the forest over the trees, one that chooses a big picture approach over one concerned with the small details.
Chinese are mostly big picture thinkers, meaning they are not so great in details and the west has a lot to offer them, when it comes to detail.
Chinese Symbolic Thinking
Chinese characters are symbolic and meaning based. Most of the characters are pictorial, or at least have a symbolic part that reflects the meaning. Reading and writing pictorial characters with their various tones means that Chinese person has a heavier reliance on the right side of his/her brain while most western languages, with only one tone for each word, are directly processed by the left side of their brains.
Relying on the right brain means that the Chinese think holistically and intuitively, listening to how things are said (not to what is said) and focusing on images and patterns. Decisions are made based usually on feelings and ideas are processed simultaneously by using free association and not by making logical deduction from information as we would expect.
In Business
In the business context, Chinese businessmen view situation or business issue in a complete sense - the big picture, meaning that as long as the deal is satisfactory and both sides have agreed verbally, in face to face discussion, the details are not important or can be attended by someone else.
Legal Documents
This is a sharp contrast to the western belief that the devil is in the details, the Chinese never like reading a legal document, particularly when they believe that some of the terms may change later. Often they would sign the document without fully comprehending the legal as well as commercial obligations, thinking there are “small things" that can be looked after if any issues arise.
Conclusion
Try to gain some basic understanding of Chinese language and characters and this will help you understand the power it has in shaping Chinese minds and why there is such a big gap between the western business thinking and the Chinese symbolic thinking.
When signing a contract in china, recognize that a signed contract alone is not enough. Constant communication, relationship building and maintaining, as well as proper monitoring and control systems are required to ensure that your Chinese counter-part appreciate and understand that the signed document is very important to you, and executing the agreement to their best ability will ensure a mutually rewarding and sustainable relationship.
Good Luck!
7. Business Negotiations in China
Potential Chinese business partners prefer to establish a strong relationship before closing a deal, do not expect quick agreement from your Chinese partners. You should expect endless meetings and discussions aimed at reaching consensus and protracted negotiations with many delays. Your schedule should be flexible and allow for multiple visits to China.
The Meeting
Meetings usually begin on time.
highest-ranking Chinese person will enter a meeting first. They will assume the first member of your group to enter the room is the leader of your delegation.
The foreign team should enter the room together and shake the hands of everyone on the Chinese side. The senior Chinese official will welcome everyone. The foreign leader will introduce his or her team, and each member will distribute his or her business card. The Chinese leader will invite his team to do the same.
Seating is very important - The host will sit with the most important guest on his right. Remember not to sit down until you are being seated.
Business Discussions and Negotiations
• Make sure your Chinese counterparts are fully authorized to take whatever action you're working toward (although the real authorities may be acting behind the scenes).
• Never show that you are under any time constraint or under pressure to return home with a signed agreement, the Chinese will use this to their full advantage in extracting concessions.
• Senior executives should be brought in if pressure is needed to speed up approval or break an impasse.
• The Chinese people do not like to say no. Instead they will give you a vague respond such as "perhaps", "I'm not sure", "I'll think about it" or "we'll see". (For more details you can read my monthly tip on "why the Chinese never say no" from the IsCham Beijing site). Try to listen to the sub-text as well as to who is saying what.
• If the Chinese side no longer wishes to pursue the deal, they may not tell you. They may become increasingly inflexible and tough forcing you to break off negotiations. One common tactics would be to postpone scheduled meetings (“the big boss is out of town”).
• If negotiations break down, do not formally end them! Sometimes your Chinese counterpart is just checking you’re bottom-line. Even if the deal falls through, do not speak badly about your Chinese counterparts, you may want to do business with them in the future.
Contract Negotiating
In contract negotiations, a Western executive's primary job is to discuss and come to an understanding verbally with his or her associate, before allowing subordinates or a third party to negotiate for further concessions and work out the details later. Unless a working session is scheduled with lawyers, senior Chinese officials will try to avoid them so keep that in mind when reaching an understanding with the Chinese lawyers.
Even after the contract has been signed you may be dragged back to the negotiating table for more concessions.
Remember- To your Chinese counterparts, a contract is not considered binding!!! It is viewed more like draft subject to change; even after the contract is signed the Chinese will often continue to press for a better deal. Do not consider this a breach of contract but as a common practice in China and therefore if you insist on fulfilling the contract your Chinese counterpart might see it as misbehavior.
The absolute proof of a successful contract comes when the check clears the bank.
8. Chinese Negotiating Tactics
In my last intercultural tip I talked about Business negotiations in China. When negotiating in China you should be aware and ready for the "Chinese Negotiating Tactics" and react accordingly.
The following are a few common negotiating tactics and possible ways to counter them:
In general
When going for negotiation one best useful advice that works all over the world is to be prepared! Do some research and know your options, then cultivate the patience needed to wait out your opponent. You can expect your Chinese counter-part to do the same.
Controlling the meeting place and schedule
The Chinese know that foreigners, traveled all the way to china, will be reluctant to travel home empty-handed. Stalling negotiations until just before scheduled return puts a lot of pressure on foreign executives to cement a deal usually by ceding further last minute concessions. Sometimes even if a meeting was scheduled a month ahead, your Chinese counter-part will postpone the meeting to the last day of your visit or even to one day after your planned departure date.
Countermove
Make sure that the other side will think that you have plenty of time and that you are ready to delay your flight back in case you want to do so. Do not expect quick results, allow extra time for all activities, always assume an unhurried and nonchalant attitude toward signing deals, and be willing to cut your losses and go home. Let the Chinese side know that failure to negotiate a contract is preferable to making a bad deal and hence be ready to go back empty handed. You can always come back again after couple of weeks, if needed.
Threatening to do business elsewhere
A well known tactic is to play competing companies off one another. Chinese may threaten to approach rival firms if their demands are not met.
Countermove
Fight fire with fire. If the going gets tough, you may let the Chinese know that you have also made inquiries with other Chinese rival companies. If there are no other Chinese companies that offer the same service or product, then you can let it be known that your superiors are actually more interested in making such a deal with companies from rival country as Korea, Japan, Vietnam or Taiwan. This would play to national pride and Chinese business people would generally be reluctant to lose a deal to foreign competitor.
Using friendship to extract concessions
Once personal relationships are established, your Chinese counter-part may seek to take advantage by asking for further concessions as personal favor and sign of friendship.
Countermove
Avoid committing to further concessions by claiming that the parameters of the deal you negotiate were mapped out in advance, and any additional changes would to be submitted to your superiors for approval. The Chinese cannot argue with that since it is in accordance with their own Confucian protocol of deferring to superiors..
It is always wise to keep up your sleeve some small concessions for the last minute negotiations.
Showing anger
Contrary to the Confucian aversion to showing negative emotion, the Chinese side may put on a displayed show of calculated anger causing the foreign party to fear losing the contract altogether. Often this is worked in as part of a "Good Cop, Bad Cop" tactic.
Countermove
Recognize such a display as the hardball tactic it is and remain unfazed.
Attrition
Chinese negotiators have been known to wear down foreign negotiators by various diversions and extended discussions. Taking clients out for dinner, karaoke, and drinking games into the early hours of the morning before important meeting is a favorite tactic.
Countermove
By preparing yourself and ensuring due diligence ahead of your trip, you will be better able to deal with unexpected developments and make smart decisions despite suffering from lack of sleep and possible hangover. Treat your trip to China like a marathon race. Pace yourself accordingly. Follow the Confucian model of moderation in all things to help you stay sharp during what is ordinarily an exhilarating but exhausting experience.
Playing the victim
Chinese may begin negotiations by showing humility and defense, often accompanied by stories of financial and business hardships. This is designed to present themselves as vulnerable and weak. You are therefore stronger and "noblesse oblige" would require you to help them by making further concessions.
Countermove
Know that wringing concessions, like street Market bargaining, is an expected part of the process. Be sure to insert a few unnecessary clauses and demands into start of every negotiation then allow these to be "reluctantly" conceded. You can always lay the “blame” on your lawyer, accountant or boss and push away some of the pressure.